Death of a rebel
A Good Friday poem
Stripped and thrown down to the ground My insides twist in fear As anger burns inside my chest Hands of Roman cowards, swine Cold metal, lancing pain They pin me to the wood Helpless rage courses in my veins And spews forth from my mouth I curse as I have always cursed A life of blood and bitterness Three of us hang side by side My friend and I And the one they call the Son of God The one they hate as no one else The mob and the priests they mock and jeer And give themselves to gleeful spite "Let the Messiah come down from the cross That we may see and believe!" The Son of God lifts up his gaze To heaven "Father forgive them! For they know not what they do." What does he think he's doing? With all I am I hate the Son of God Like no one else that I have hated Except God "Aren't you the Messiah? What use are you! You call yourself the Savior? Jews are crucified every day, And you don't save any of them" I curse as I have never cursed My chest heaves as my life Trickles from every wound A life of blood and bitterness Boils over The Son of God Hangs and breathes And holds his peace My friend picks up where I left off And showers on him every curse The Son of God his silence keeps More sheeplike than a son of man Ukherahel lifne gozezeyha ne'elamah velo yiftah piv The words unbidden rise in my mind As from the darkness of a well "Like a sheep before its shearers is silent, So he opened not his mouth." The voice of the synagogue lector From days long past Echoes in my thoughts I look again at the Son of God His lips are moving in silent prayer Bitter irritation snaps inside Why does he play at piety? What use is God to men like us? My friend continues tireless To heap abuse on the Son of God Who nothing says A dog at least will snarl and bite But he is a worm and not a man Ve'anokhi thola'ath velo-'ish "But I am a worm and not a man All who see me mock me" Again I look at the Son of God As blood trickles down from the thorns of his crown He is contemptible, and yet I suddenly see the flame within And realize that in that haggard face The eyes are David's eyes ~ And still my friend Keeps up the stream "What use are you? Some 'Son of God!' You heal the blind and raise the dead Why can't you save yourself? Why can't you save us too? Or at least get killed in battle You're the worst Messiah yet! Kullanu katson ta'inu va'adonay hifgia' bo 'eth 'avon kullanu Again the long forgotten words Spring nimbly to my thought "All we like sheep have gone astray And the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Although he had done no violence And there was no deceit in his mouth." The holy words burn in my mind As a flood of shame sweeps away my rage I want to hide my blood-stained hands And cover the foulness of my lips But I am hanging on this tree And all my shame laid bare to see And still my friend is railing on Shameless even at the end And I can bear no more "Would you shut up!" Don't you know we ought to die? Don't you remember what we've done? But as for him, this Son of God He should not be hanging here!" He looks at me, the Son of God Looks steadily into my eyes "Lord will you remember me? When you do sit on your throne Will you remember how we hung And died together side by side?" "Today," he said, "I promise you, You'll be with me in Paradise." And for a moment oh so brief I don't feel iron in my flesh I don't feel the dryness of my mouth Or smell the sticky blood His promise spoke with lordly grace Like the ringing of a bell Lifts up my heart and all my shame Slides away Favor unlooked for And undeserved Shatters the weapons of my heart The hopeless struggle of my life Fury against men and fury against God Is over And peace unexpected blossoms in my chest Pain resurfaces Burns my limbs and grips my chest But no longer rules my heart And I feel somehow I would not trade My place beside the Son of God Against the palace of a king ~ Darkness falls on us at noon And the cold wind stings our helpless flesh The Son of God shudders The hours pass; we breathe and bleed Our bodies cling to fragile life The Son of God is very pale His breathing weak and ragged They give him a drink and he lifts his gaze To heaven "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" The Son of God collapses His lifeless head hung low With a roar the earth shudders and heaves Thunder crashes and the crowd falls to the ground Panic seizes me by the throat I am naked before the wrath of God! I close my eyes while the whole world reels While the Fury passes through ~ Quiet returns I hang, I breathe Alone as I have never been Time stretches out I hang, I breathe Alone and cold With the body of the Son of God A messenger arrives Discussion among the soldiers One takes up a mallet And heads for my old friend My gut turns with sudden horror A swing, a crack, a ragged scream Now he makes his way toward me Animal fear crawls on my skin Hanging watching helplessly My shin explodes and far away I hear my voice announce my pain My shattered legs collapse beneath My broken body hangs by the hands My mouth gapes in futility My heart in panic thuds Louder and louder in my ears As the world recedes I see nothing Feel only the wood at my back And as that too fades away I hear a distant voice The Son of God is singing ~